Quick update from round one, and the days that followed.
Last week I made the daily drive into downtown Sacramento, five straight mornings, three hours at a time. You settle into a rhythm pretty quickly. Check in, get set up, sit, read, think, repeat. I had three different nurses over the week, and each of them brought a calm, steady kindness to the experience. They were the kind of people who made something hard feel just a little more manageable.
There was also this quiet, humbling reality of the infusion center. You look around and realize that many people there are walking through much heavier versions of this fight. I found myself holding two things at once. A real awareness of how hard it is for others, and a deep gratitude that my side effects have been minimal and that the outlook here is positive. Both can be true, and both were present every morning.
The first three days felt surprisingly normal. No real side effects to speak of. Then day four showed up and introduced a different kind of tired. Not the kind that a nap fixes. Not the kind that disappears after a good night of sleep. It is the kind where your legs feel heavy for no reason, where standing for a bit leaves you a little out of breath, where your body just feels like it is working harder than it should. That feeling built over the next few days, carried into Easter Sunday, and then, slowly, started to ease. Each day since has been a step in the right direction.
I checked in with my nurse liaison earlier this week to let her know how I was feeling, and she gave me the green light to do whatever my body feels up for, with one exception. Stay away from people for now. So I have been walking, mixing in some light exercise, paying attention to how things feel. If things keep trending this way, I may test out a short run next week. I miss that more than I expected.
One update on what is ahead. I had originally been told that the next round would not begin until May 4, but my upcoming sessions have now been scheduled to start earlier, with weekly infusions beginning on April 27. If all goes well, that timeline puts a return to school within reach for the last week or two of the school year. I can hardly wait!
Through all of this, the messages, the texts, the check-ins, they continue to mean more than I can probably put into words. The picture with this post is a friend’s edit of one of my infusion photos, letting me know I was doing spring break all wrong. It is messages like this, from friends like these, that I feel especially grateful for.
Mr. Zerwas 